Damara Likes Cats

I need to surround myself with happy people. 

I didn’t want to spam this blog about every detail of my current state, so I made a little blog, missingcolby.tumblr.com. It’s really depressing now, but it should gradually get more leveled. Thank you, for everything. 

I just wanted to thank you for reading and supporting me and listening. There was a long period of time when I was afraid to open my mouth and speak and I believe that this little discourse community we have sustained helped me to come out of that mindset. You all are wonderful and good, good people. I cannot thank you enough. Colby leaves the country for two years started next Wednesday and I will be at my university waiting for his return, our only means of communication weekly emails. So you might have to expect a few emotional posts and I’m sorry in advance. I feel leveled now and I feel positive and put together, but if (and when) I get lonely, I know I have this outlet. It is comfortingly stable. You all deserve the world, you really do. 

“Damara, you gave me life.”

1. Be honest. 2. Be loved for it.

I have problems, sometimes. It’s true that I can have blaring faults. They may creep into my sight and cloud my vision. They might bind my lips into a horizontal encasement. And when I don’t tend to my thoughts they grow sharp edges and weave into one another and keep the ray of light at my core from shining through. I am silent, I am sad, I am mourning my own death. I am always going back to transparency. I live in cycles. A good part of me is born and dies minutes later. I am always dying, I am always reborn, I am always holding on to what was. I am hurt, my soul bleeds. Something isn’t right. I am incongruous. It’s my fault. I need help.